Cat tries to beat up woman after she insults him using the cat translator app by Oliver Wheaton

Over the years human beings have perfected the art of winding each other up, so it only makes sense that we move on to annoying our friends in the animal kingdom as well. Leading the charge on this front is Penny Adams, who used an app on her smartphone to converse with her cat, named Flam. Clearly her innocent words mean something far more offensive in cat language, because the moggy instantly squares up to her. Penny, who volunteers at a the Cat Shoppe Rescue centre in Nashville Tennessee, doesn’t do a good job of apologising for her incredibly rude words, and Flan is forced to take drastic action. He lands the standard ‘scratch and snarl’ cat attack, before backing off, ready to make his next move. Of course a secondary attack is unnecessary, as that cheeky human has been put in her place. Penny said of the little tussle: ‘Who knows what the app was really saying in cat voice, but he sure didn’t like it.’ At least we know the app works, but we have also confirmed our long held suspicions that cats really don’t enjoy our company – just our food. Cats – 1, humans – 0.

Two men jump out of a plane, then decide to set their parachutes on fire

BY Oliver Wheaton for Metro.co.uk You would be correct in thinking one of the key ingredients necessary for a successful skydive would be a functioning parachute. So seeing two daredevils setting theirs on fire mid-jump is somewhat puzzling (and terrifying). Alex Aimard and Petter Jonsson performed this ridiculous stunt over the planes of Eloy, Arizona – which, by the way, is not one giant safety net. They released their first parachutes immediately after exiting the plane, before using flare guns to set ablaze the one thing stopping them from plummeting to the ground. Of course they had packed a second parachute each, which is why we are watching this awesome video instead of reading about two men who died in very weird circumstances. Petter, from Sweden, said: ‘I was so focused on my task that I didn’t have time to be scared or think about what could have gone wrong.’

A man found a terrifying python inside a box of Corn Flakes

Earlier today, we told you about the man who was horrified when he found a rat in his shopping. But just when you thought it was safe to go back in the kitchen, we give you this bloke in Australia – who discovered a giant python in a box of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes. Jared Smith, 22, was making lunch in his Sydney apartment when he saw the terrifying diamond python nestled in the cereal box. He told The Daily Telegraph: ‘I peeked in the box, saw its head pop out, and that’s when I dropped my food on the counter and bolted for the door.’ ‘The python was over two metres long and I couldn’t believe it was jammed into this small cereal box. ‘When I got there I actually had to tear the box to get it out, that’s how tightly squeezed in it was. ‘It’s likely it was hiding in there to feel secure’. After Jared enlisted the help of his dad to deal with the creature, the pair called the New South Wales Wildlife, Information, Rescue and Education Service (WIRES). A rescuer tore the cereal box open, allowing the snake to wriggle out before it was returned to nearby bush land. A WIRES spokesman added that the snake was probably hiding in the book in a bid to feel safe.

Trailer With Tons of Mozzarella Stolen From Truck Stop SUMMERFIELD, Fla.

Hold the cheese. Thieves made off with a refrigerated tractor-trailer filled with $85,000 worth of shredded mozzarella cheese bound for a Hungry Howies Pizza distribution center in central Florida. The truck was reported stolen Sunday. The Ocala Star-Banner (http://bit.ly/1E8g2vd) reports the driver and his girlfriend left the trailer at a truck stop in Summerfield on Saturday evening while having a mechanic check the truck. Marion County Sheriff's officials say the woman reported the truck was missing Sunday. Deputies say a hauler was also reported missing from the lot Saturday, presumably to take the trailer. The missing trailer has white mud flaps with "Hudsonville Trailer Sales" on them. It also has a Michigan license plate. The trailer is valued at $62,000. ——— Information from: Ocala (Fla.) Star-Banner

Police: Woman Got Naked at Dunkin' Donuts on a Dare GREENACRES, Fla

from ASSOCIATED PRESS A 32-year-old woman told police in Florida she got naked and sat outside a Dunkin' Donuts as a dare. The Palm Beach Post (http://pbpo.st/1EQc0sF) reports Shakara Monik Martin was arrested Sunday in Greenacres near West Palm Beach. According to a police report, Martin told authorities the dare was part of a pledge to a dance troop, which wasn't identified. Witnesses told police Martin was offered clothes several times, but she refused to take them. She began apologizing when police arrived. She faces a charge of indecent exposure. Martin appeared in court Monday and was released on her own recognizance. It was not clear whether she's retained an attorney and a phone number wasn't available for her.

'The Bachelorette' 2015 Will Star Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson

HOW STUPID IS THIS? IS THIS WHAT WOMEN HAVE TO REDUCE THEMSELVES TO IN ORDER TO GET A HUSBAND?

Throughout "The Bachelor" and "After the Final Rose," Chris Harrison promised viewers that a big announcement would be made. In the end, it was that Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson, two women who competed for Chris Soules's affections on "The Bachelor," will star on the next season of "The Bachelorette." "A lot of opinions going back and forth, so here's the thing, we actually decided not to decide," Harrison said. "For the first time in Bachelorette history, we're gonna have two bachelorettes. ... The 25 men on night one will have the ultimate say on who they think will make the best wife." 'The Bachelor' 2015 Finale Recap: Chris Soules Is Engaged to Whitney Bischoff 'The Bachelor' Finale Preview: Watch Chris Soules Choose an Engagement Ring 'Bachelor' Star Becca Reveals 'It's Gonna Take a Lot More Than a Fantasy Suite!' With that, he brought out Bristowe and Nilsson, who appeared on stage holding hands. "I'm super grateful... It's more than I can comprehend," Nilsson said. "We'll just see how it goes!" Bristowe admitted that she wasn't thrilled when she heard about the plan. "What went through my mind was, that's not ideal!" she said with a smile. "Nothing against you [Britt] but... if that's what it takes to find somebody, [I'm in]."

Owner of Maine Inn Holds Essay Contest to Select New Owner LOVELL, Maine

A woman who won a Maine country inn in an essay writing contest more than two decades ago wants to give it away in the same manner. Janice Sage is asking prospective owners of the Center Lovell Inn and Restaurant to persuade her why they should have the opportunity take over the facility in 200 words or less. Sage tells The Boston Globe ( http://bit.ly/18uzXJm ) she wants to retire after 22 years of 17-hour days of pleasing guests, cooking, cleaning and just maintaining the 210-year-old building. Sage expects more than 7,500 entries. At $125 per entry, the total could end up surpassing the inn's estimated $900,000 value. She will pick the best 20 entries by May 17 and pass them to two anonymous judges, who will select a winner by May 21.